Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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