I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize