I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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