I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
