Don't make out with my wife yet
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
