so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
