I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
