so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
