Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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