you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I want to be your penis for a week.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
