he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
