I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
