so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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