weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
