The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
