i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
