dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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