we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
