I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
