My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
