she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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