Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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