i just wanna soil my oats bro
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
