I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
