I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
