After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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