so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
accomplished twins. life is a go
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
