Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
