i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
