You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
