So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
