"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
