had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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