He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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