Soap is not a condiment
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
