If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
