PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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