u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
