You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
