On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
