Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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