Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
