Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
