Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
