guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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