North Korea, Best Korea!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
