is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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