Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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