Just fell off a train. Bad.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
