He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
