Please, let me fuck your mom
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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