when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
