This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
