Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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