I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
