i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
