I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
