Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Pappa wants mamma naked
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
