new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
