Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Oh god it's open bar.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize