Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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