Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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