Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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