I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize